Ladyandthetramp's Weblog

So it’s done done and done…

ladyandthetramp — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 11:54:33 +0000

Well I have had three really bad days… I wish you where here Gwen so much wish you where here. I’m sick (flue) and at the same time my ex wife is trying to strangle me. ‘How could you’… Now atleast she knows I have moved on for good and still she won’t let me go. I thought she would be angry but she is just sad, devastated and crushed… again… I’m a so bad person and I can’t stand myself. This is so messed up…

I don’t know how this will end but atleast we are getting there… fast… I love you!

“A winner is a loser who was willing to fail and get up, fail and get up, fail and get up, fail and get up and win.” – Peter Zafra

Revealed to the world…

ladyandthetramp — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 15:46:12 +0000

So now it’s done..

I have officially a new girlfriend. Not only you and me that knows now. Now they all know atleast soon when the gossip has spread… I give it max one week before my ex wife knows. We made out on a big party infront of all my friends… I’m happy it’s finally known.

You moving here on the in a week could not be more happy. Welcome welcome my love!

// T

2 Weeks an ethernity?

ladyandthetramp — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 20:40:23 +0000

So much have happened. Lets sum up.

1. Did not get the apartment the bitch backed out 24 hours before the move. Don’t normally call people bitches but she for sure is the definition of the word! Bitch bitch bitch!

2. Meet you again Gwen every time I fall deeper and deeper. I got so strong feelings for you.

3. Gwen you are moving to my town got an apartment and now is sorting out a job. I hope…

4. Bought a house instead, moving within a month. From the real estate agent showed the house the deal was done within 24 hours! Well a shitty house but at least something over my head. I don’t sleep anyway so I can renovate it!

My final holiday week is coming up. See you soon Gwen, my sunshine. Lets talk about the future, about you and me! Lets prepare the world.

// Tommy

GWEN I LOVE YOU!

ladyandthetramp — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 21:56:04 +0000

GWEN I LOVE YOU!

You are the lady I’m the tramp. Still don’t see what you see in me, but I’m all yours. Two more nights together makes my life worth to live. You came and never really wanted to let you go. See you again next week then I have my own place set. I love you!

// T

Told the kids today…

ladyandthetramp — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 20:59:33 +0000

Told the kids today that we are getting a divorce. Did not look forward to this at all they where sad for 10 minutes and then wanted to go and swim… Kids… I love them and this will ofcourse not be easy for them but it will not hit them until I move and they have 2 homes.

// T

Heaven and Hell

ladyandthetramp — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 18:45:19 +0000

What a rush you called today you are really going all in Gwen!
Ohh I love you so. I got devastated _again_ when you got the job offer. I thought we would never get the chance to be a couple but you declined the offer!
I’m so happy you did you can not imagine! You sounded so relieved on the phone today you are really moving to the big city! You are going all in!
I’m all yours!

I love you I love you I love you!!!

// T

Divorce papers signed

ladyandthetramp — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 08:20:24 +0000

So was the big step finally taken. My divorce papers are at the mercy of the court. I feel empty guess I should feel something but just emptiness. Next step is getting settled with the economics. We agree about everything today but want it on paper and same thing there leave it at the hands of the court.

It should be a good day today but it’s not. Not for us anyway, you got a job offer one you should not refuse. It would be stupid and silly an opportunity to get your career going. I should be happy for you but I can’t it would make you stuck far away for a long time. I know selfish but it crashes into my dreams about a life with you. In full force, grief… We would only get every second weekend togheter and I don’t know how I could stand that. I tried once to accept the feeling in not seeing you in 6 months. This would not be that bad but still, don’t like this feeling at all. My heart pounding panic, spreading. Shit Gwen I get the feeling I’m loosing you again… Arghhh…

Love you!

// T

ladyandthetramp — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 05:04:25 +0000

On my way to the office another sleepless night. Talked to you late last night Gwen. You where sad cried a bit miss me and hate me. That I’m not yours only I’m still married and you think I will never get a divorce. Never be me and you, hopeless no chance. Not really fair you know it, I know it but I understand. Tried to explain but you where tired and could not , wanted not to listen. You don’t want to be a lie you don’t want to be hidden. You hang up with the words, -’I need to stop talking now before I say something I regret’. Not only me that suffers I know not only me. All people around me get their share and the more I care the more they suffer. You get the worst pain nobody to share it with except me… And the world through my lousy writing.

I can only see one good thing with this in the end. We started in the wrong end with the wrong foot and backwards to I guess. If we can get through this together I think there won’t be much that can hurt us in the future.

I love you Gwen, always no words can push me away now.

// T

Fleed from home…

ladyandthetramp — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 16:46:24 +0000

I fleed from home way to many shadows to battle. Went to my best friend and slept at his place. He has a lovely house outside the city about 2 hours drive. Now sitting on a cliff and listening to the waves from the sea. Above me the clouds are gathering it will rain soon somehow fitting. Tomorrow my weekation is over and I will have to work for a week. Not that I mind but I don’t function very well at the moment. I will be a lousy worker but good that I have something to do. It will help me to get by another day.

Yours Tommy

Shadows

ladyandthetramp — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 12:39:44 +0000

I feel asleep on the sofa. So tired so haunted. I just want to jump into the car and drive to you.
Shadows… I dreamed of shadows. I’m running and as long as I run the shadow does not catch me. As soon as I stop I’m trapped and filled with despair. No hope, nothing… Thats the feeling I got right now. I’m running and running. There is nowhere to hide.

Is this why you say falling in love and climbing out of love? Is it like a pit you get trapped in a hole you can’t get out of? A pit ful of shadows and there is nowhere to run..,

Need to run, run and run.

// T